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Love/Hate

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Food and I have had a love/hate relationship for most of my life.  I was an emotional eater for many years.  I would get sad and eat.  I would get angry and eat.  I would be happy and eat.  I would also reward myself with food for a job well done.  You get the picture.  It was not a pretty sight.  I would never choose “healthy” foods to make myself feel better.  In fact, the sweeter and more chocolatey the food the better.  I would dive into the foods thinking they would make me feel better, and of course there were times I wouldn’t think about it at all.  It was just a natural reaction for me to reach for food.  In the end, I felt miserable and packed on the pounds one bite at a time.  At some point though, it was as if a switch flipped inside of my mind.  I began to notice I no longer felt the need to turn to food when I was stressed or emotional. 

AND THEN IT HIT!  Yesterday, a tidal wave of emotion and disappointment flooded me.  The first thing I wanted was a platter of homemade chocolate chip cookies or double fudge brownies.  Sugar cookies would’ve sufficed as well.  However, almost as soon as I had those desires I told my husband.  He asked me what I was going to do.  I looked at him and said that I wasn’t going to eat out of the emotion and that I was glad we no longer kept those kinds of foods in the house.  I decided to instead deal with my frustrations and opted for a couple of graham crackers (well maybe 3 graham crackers), a bottle of water, and a workout.  Was that the best choice? Maybe/Maybe not, but I consider it a success because I normally would have wallowed in self-pity and devoured the entire chocolate cake all by myself. 

I am feeling better today, and I know that I am extremely blessed.  ❤

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4 Comments

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